Much to the dismay of plumbers everywhere, Nintendo of America has hired Bowser as VP of Sales.
“This is terrible!” Toad told reporters when asked about Nintendo bringing the King of the Koopas aboard. “Hey Mario and Luigi! We’ve got a problem here!”
The news follows reports that Microsoft has hired Marcus Fenix as VP of Operations, while Sony is appointing long-time crook Sly Cooper as CFO.
“Mama mia!” Mario said in a statement. “Let’s-a go!”
His brother, Luigi, was not available for comment.
Okay, never mind. Wrong Bowser.
Nintendo of America has actually hired Doug Bowser as VP of Sales. Mr. Bowser “will oversee a variety of sales-related functions, including Sales, In-store Merchandising, Retail Strategy and Retail Marketing,” according to a company press release.


No doubt he’ll also face a bunch of articles like this one, not to mention far too many unoriginal jokes about his name in the office. Let’s hope he’s not too hot-headed.

“Doug Bowser is an outstanding addition to our Nintendo team, as he brings a deep blend of both consumer package goods and video game sales experience,” said Scott Moffitt Nintendo of America’s Executive Vice President of Sales Marketing..
“I know he will work tirelessly with our internal and external partners to ensure the broad Nintendo product lineup of hardware, software and accessories are strongly represented throughout U.S. retail points of distribution.”
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